Monday, April 27, 2009

The Newest Impending Doom

I had never heard of Swine Flu before today, and suddenly its everywhere! Or at least news of it is. Sentences like "its not a pandemic...yet," have been firing up my imagination all day long. I went straight to wikipedia (because that's cutting edge, reliable information) and then followed up with my contact at the CDC (read my mom). I have been assured that as of right now I am in little to no danger and there is no logical cause for panic- but when has that ever stopped me before? Who wants to die of something called Swine Flu?

I don't think I have it or anything like that. I don't have Leprosy either, but, man, I had to think about it for a long time. So now I'll probably be thinking about Swine Flu for the forseeable future. I really can't afford to have a pandemic sneak up on me. After all the reading I have done, I am now certain that even if Dustin Hoffman showed up before the end, and even if he caught the carrier mokney, there is no way he would be able to synthesize its anitbodies into a cure in time to save me. Apparently thats unrealistic. That was terribly disappointing, and it means I have to be vigilant. Call me paranoid, or a hypochondriac if you must, but I refused to be ninja-killed by a virus. So let me know if you hear anything, ok? Hearsay is nearly as good as wikipedia for information.

1 comment:

  1. According to MY contact at the CDC (also known as my mom :-)), you'll know if you have swine flu - it starts with a really high fever and a hacking cough. We won't let you be ninja-killed!

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